<Me laughing at an incredibly disgusting or disturbingly sexual joke that I came up with but I can never say out loud because all of my friends aren't complete degenerates such as myself.So I'm generally a super clean-cut goody two-shoes person. I'm super christian in my beliefs. I try to be super gentle and kind with everyone. The last thing I ever want to do is offend anyone. Heck, I've only sworn 8 times in my entire life. 8. I counted them. I think I'm the only person I know that
can count them.
But like... with some of the things that I've seen online and IRL, some of the personal issues I've had to deal with, and just the way that my brain works, my sense of humor has become something else entirely.
I have a
really messed up sense of humor, and I think that some of the most messed up jokes are often some of the funniest because of how out of nowhere and off the wall they can be. I kinda blame the internet for half of it, but man... I really have to hold back sometimes.
It's like living a secret life inside my own head. It's so weird. And it's the worst when the joke is really funny, and makes me laugh out loud, but I have to avoid telling it because it will not only surprise the heck out of my friends, I might lose some friends because of it. I actually have lost friends in some cases where something slipped out, and those slips weren't even the bad ones.
I feel like I'm just a really messed up perv on the inside but I have to pretend to be a normal functioning human on the outside so that I can have normal relationships.
One day I hope to have a friend with a sense of humor as messed up as mine just so I can tell some of these jokes and have someone else laugh at them instead of looking at me weird. Some of my family has similar humor, so that relieves some of the pressure, but even then, I don't want to risk letting the
real freak flag fly.
Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. Sorry if anyone who knows me is surprised by this. I'm not as innocent as you think.
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