"Stop speaking in latin! that's how you will summon demons! Not speak in latin!" Uh, OK. So, I say, 'Sir, will you please, in your sanctum, keep speaking in latin?', and he says, 'No, you have to stop speaking in latin!'"
"I always wanted to be a basketball player."
"Yeah, but your dad played."
"Oh yeah, he had a mustache, a beard. He was in the front row."
"But you never went to the gym. He'd make you go to the gym."
"That's one of my favorite memories, when you were in fifth grade and he was waiting outside to come and pick me up, and I went"
that story sorta went off the rails there :PP Post too long. Click here to view the full text.