How can you be so happy?
The memory plays now like a fading heartbeat, interrupting my silence with a dull throb.
I laugh a silent, empty, ragged, broken laugh, as I remember the man who came to me, hoping I could show him how to find peace in a life of misery.
I laugh because I envy him, and his hope that I could save him. I laugh because I can't remember a time when I was happy.
Was I ever happy? Wasn't there a time, not too long ago when the world was light on my shoulders, and I felt like I could do anything. Everyone wanted what I had, but what they don't know is that I never felt like I had anything.
Good friends, I guess, but I managed to ruin that with some effort.
Now people ask me why I look dead. My cold heart finally caught up with me I guess. I look back sometimes and wonder why. Why did so many people look up to me?
Why did they think I had it figured out?
Why did they come to me when they needed to cry?Post too long. Click here to view the full text.