Hey. I’ve been feeling kind of blue lately. It’s nothing huge, just some mundane stuff that’s been bothering me. The part of my brain that remembers its cognitive resiliency training recognizes a lot of the cognitive distortions I’m feeling, but I still feel blue, so I figured I’d voice my thoughts here and see what happens.
And why is blue viewed as a sad color? Blue is awesome, and so rare! Like, it doesn’t even occur naturally anywhere. Sure there’s lots of blue stuff in nature, but they’re actually using really cool microstructures—not pigment—to create a light refraction/reflection effect that creates
the color blue by only reflecting blue light. And yes, everything does this, except one. The Olive Wing Butterfly is the only species on the entire planet that has managed to create a blue pigment. Every other blue thing you’ve ever seen in nature was using intricate microstructures that reflect blue light. There’s no blue pigment on them. Look it up if you don’t believe me.
And holy cow, I just realized my favorite color is actually blue. I mean, I still think Pink and Orange look cool, but like… blue is just so awesome, and I have more blue clothing than any other color, and it has this really calming effect. So why do we view it as sad? Just some food for thought while I distract myself for a few minutes.
So, onto the stuff I actually feel like I need to talk about. I’ve been feeling kind of… distant and apathetic lately. Not really sad, just sort of unmotivated. I’ve been neglecting a lot of communities I’m apart of, such as this one, such as reviewer groups on Fimfiction, such as Fandom discussions on discord, such as IRL study groups and book clubs I’m part of. And it’s not like it’s beyond my ability to do something (I wrote this thread, didn’t I?). I just, don’t feel motivated to. And part of that is due to my odd timezone, which is really frustrating and I can’t wait to move back to the US so I can talk to all of you when you’re online, but for my IRL groups that’s not an excuse. I’m just not motivated.
Analyzing it like this, it actually starts to look like a directed attack that’s just extremely subtle. I noticed that it looked like a problem earlier when I lost so much interest in everything, that I did nothing. Literally nothing. Except breathe and pump blood, I guess. After scanning my room, glancing past my books, my games, my thinkpad, my guitar, my bike helmet, my puzzles, mPost too long. Click here to view the full text.