No.1193252[Reply]
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I’ve recently received a much needed and well deserved kick in the teeth, and after some deep introspection, I’ve realized that I’ve been a huge piece of shit to many of you, in some cases for years, and especially since the shutdown of Old Ponychan. I know I can’t make things right with everyone but I want you to know that I’m deeply sorry for my actions. To put it mildly I did not take the shutdown of Old Ponychan well, and all of you have had to deal with it ever since. And of course I was being an asshole to some of you even before that. I’d like to shout out some individuals who I think need special mention.
Clarity, I’m sorry for biting your head off constantly about Story thread. I know we’ve talked about this and worked it out, yet I’ve kept going back to it anyway. I appreciate your friendship more than you know.
Maxwell, I’m very sorry about how I’ve acted toward you. Pride got the best of me and I had to prove myself at all costs. And it cost a lot. I want you to know I really appreciate how you stepped up to help Munchkin when it was a question of money vs putting her down. That was back in 2016. 9 years later, she’s a happy 15-year-old pupper now who’s a trooper like you wouldn’t believe. Thank you.
Epic, I’m really sorry about how I’ve acted toward you lately. There’s no excuse for it. I hope we can continue the RP as friends.
Zeke I’m not even sure where to start. You were probably right to not pass the site to me. Sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused before and since. I’m kind of committed at this point, but I’ll try to make things right where I can. It’s going to take some time.
Wheat, I’m sorry for figuratively burning the place to the ground. That was unbelievably selfish of me.
Saccharine et al., I’m sorry for the very personal attacks against you, basically over your opinions.
I can’t promise I’ll be perfect going forward, but I’m going to make a significant effort to be better in the future. Life is too short to get hung up on these sorts of things, and I need to reassess my priorities. I’m going to take a break from posting for a while. Don’t worry; I’m ok. Thank you for your time.
4 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view. No.1193273
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I had to have the weekends off from Ponyville because of how you responded to me. I won't go into it, other than "Autistic-grade anxiety". I'm not blaming you over it because anyone else would just accept it and move on, which is what I just wanted to do, but it felt like I was wrestling against my own brain every 10-20 minutes, trying to pry myself free from that past moment. Again, not blaming you for my anxiety, just how I am.
(I was more upset with myself over the fact I was triggered over why I was triggered, that my brain was regarding it as a "confrontation", when in truth someone I thought was a casual friend on the internet turned out to be volatile, that's all. In yet I was stuck in an "anxiety-loop", when you're aware you have anxiety, which is causing more anxiety. When I was finally being released from it, something else IRL got me worried over.)
All-in-all, what has happened, happened. And I can forgive you and move on from it. And I am recovering back to my usual happy self.
I know I already said this over and over, but I never meant to offend or upset you to begin with in any way. I never want to do that to anyone. But I understood you "felt" that way, and I am genuinely sorry of what your brain was putting you through at the time. While different circumstances, I know what it's like when you have little to no control over how you feel.
