No.1191256[View All]
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Imagine being in this relationship? Best thing ever? Or greatest thing ever?
Anyways, huh, I'd voted to try dating again in May... but... well... I've not tried to... yet...
60 posts and 43 image replies omitted. Click reply to view. No.1192050
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>>1192048Yes, we used to be friends. You've known me through a lot of different names, but Eris was probably the first.
>>1192049we live we die we live again!
No.1192052
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>>1192050we ride the cycle of death like a motorcycle! doin donuts on eternity!
>>1192051Jade is the one that sticks out to me as one of the earliest i remember!
No.1192053
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>>1192052JADE, RIGHT
i COMPLETELY forgot about jade
No.1192054
>>1192049>it maybe one of those things that you don't know until you actively go against the grain, and realize "this is what i've been missing this whole time!" That's what it felt like for me when I transitioned. And how it feels now when I'm with my girlfriend. She has a very masculine way about her that makes me feel safe in my femininity. Sometimes, having her plan a date and do the things typically expected of the man in the relationship - leaves me feeling like a man who just arrived at an oasis in the desert. It's a powerful emotion.
>still i find myself wondering irl and online if that genderfluid status is something i'm holding onto cause it gives me flexibility when dealing with others, i.e. a means to avoid conflict because i don't want to cause problems cause of gender identity. so i wonder if i'm just a woman trying to not cause problems by holding onto some vestiges of manhood; i don't have an answer for that at this time ><That sounds like it would be tricky to disentangle. Also, again, feelings that are mirrored in my experience exactly. I think because gender is socially constructed, it is so vulnerable to outside influence. I've come to peace with just letting my gender presentation do its own thing and not worrying too much about it beyond what is materially convenient, and what feels right in the moment, but I think that apathy is also costing me something.
>>1192050I thought that might be you! Good to see you again. Though I can't put a name to your personality, I have a lot of positive emotions tied to our time spent together.
>>1192052>>1192050I was about to say, Jade was one I remember too.
And wasn't there a "val", or am I making this up?
No.1192055
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>>1192054We used to hang out a lot, both on Ponychan and Discord, but yeah I also don't have too many concrete memories just good vibes and I know I missed seeing you around for a long time!
Val is also in there yeah, I'm remembering now. I just completely blanked on all my names. I go by Roxie or Harlowe now, interchangeably.
No.1192056
>>1192055I remember that much! I haven't used my discord in ages either.
I never asked, how come you changed names so often?
No.1192057
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>>1192054your girlfriend sounds wonderful, and i hope that oasis makes you feel refreshed and nourished <3
it is quite a bit, and i do do some stuff that showcases my femininity like nail polish and wearing lipstick; but even then, due to the height and appearance, a lot just assume i'm a gender non-conforming person, which i guess is technically correct; with pride coming up, i'm gonna probably hand out a bunch of pride stickers, and i'm thinking of getting a bunch of trans flag stuff to wear to be like "is this gender non-conforming enough for you?"
do you wish to combat that apathy at all for yourself?
No.1192058
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>>1192056I don't really know that there WAS a reason exactly, but if I had to apply a reason to it, it would probably be me trying out different names to try and decide what I want to actually change my name to when I officially do so.
But I also just like different names and it's the internet so why not change names when you feel like it. Give people a little challenge once in a while!
The difference with Harlowe and Roxie is that I use Harlowe IRL as a gender-neutral name for work, and Roxie came to me in a dream.
No.1192060
>>1192057Thanks <3
That's so tough. I find that it's really how I'm treated that matters. And that's what gender signifiers are kinda supposed to do, they're supposed to kinda subtly communicate, this is who I am, treat me like this.
I don't know... it's a little scary. I'm so busy right now, I can't really afford much instability in my life. And I have this feeling a deep dive into my own gender presentation... well, last time it didn't go well. When I go into conflict with the world and trying to assert myself, I ended up feeling so drained. I feel that I'm MORE understood, when I just lay low. That's why I want to seek out non-toxic queer communities. Have some breathing holes in my life where I can safely explore these things. Until I've found those, that apathy might be there to stay.
>>1192058That makes sense to me. So in the end you actually did end up picking a name for yourself, after changing your name many times online!
No.1192061
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>>1192060Yup! Though I'm still not sure what name will eventually show up on my actual ID when the time comes, but that's still for the future.
No.1192062
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>>1192061I kicked a deadname out the door a few years past! Now I have a gender neutral name, which is... okay, but I was a little too hasty and picked one that is actually sort of unique. only one other person in the world has my name, so it gets a lot of double takes and "what was that"'s. In the end I think I would like to change it again but it's such an ordeal. I Might just stick with the one I have now.
No.1192063
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>>1192061Harlowe has such an attractive ring to me btw.
is that okay to say? To me it sounds kinda smokey and sophisticated in an approachable way. I really like it. Kinda envious that you thought of it and not me.
No.1192064
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>>1192062That sounds like it could be pretty annoying sometimes. But also it's pretty cool to have a unique name, since that's pretty rare. Though I guess it does depend. The potential for regret is one of the biggest things for me, the potential that the name I choose will eventually feel like my deadname in the way I wish I had a different one.
>>1192063It's totally okay to say! It's a really nice compliment. I did choose it for those properties more or less, along with it's gender neutrality. The character I created to go along with it is also all those things.
No.1192065
>>1192064>The potential for regret is one of the biggest things for me, the potential that the name I choose will eventually feel like my deadname in the way I wish I had a different one. Actually, it seems pretty smart that you have two names right now, a legal and a friend name. That way you test it out without permanent ramificaitons.
I think it's tough to feel good about a name until it's familiar though, and that can take years in my experience. One risk that you might run with changing names a lot, is that you could be missing out on that one name that would click if it had enough time to settle.
No.1192066
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>>1192065There's also the fact that the internet is still the internet, there's nothing wrong with having a different online name than the one you have offline.
In the end, all the names I've used in the past still feel applicable to me, except Eris but there's a whole other story for that. Having a bunch of names is just part of who I am, and having to settle on one for legal purposes is just going to have to be something I deal with eventually.
Of course, that's assuming everything either stays about the same or gets better, rather than getting worse here in the US.
No.1192068
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>>1192060that's why i have no problem with pronoun pins; i've talked to some trans folk that feel that those pins can be "too agressive" cause in a way it demands something of people reading it, but if that's what it takes for people to know what you want them to know, then why not?
does sound like there is a lot of trepidation, and while i want you to feel as authentic to yourself as humanly possible, i also understand the need to feel safe and maintain the energy you can to get through things; and even though i think it's not healthy in the long run, if apathy helps you get through shit in the moment, then that's probably why its there; that being said, i hope you can find yourself with people and in a place where you can ditch it as soon as possible ^_^
>>1192065>>1192066legal names are good for checks and passports, but in daily life, any name that vibes with you is viable
and being yourself is the best thing, even if it shifts and moves from day to day <3
No.1192069
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>>1192038I'm not trans myself, and have never been interested in transitioning at all. I've mentioned it before, but most people mistake me for being a completely 100 percent heterosexual male. Which they would be
mostly correct about. I'm bisexual and am mostly attracted to the female appearance. With that said, I've dated females, males, and those in between.
No.1192072
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Remember to ask for consent.
No.1192219
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Finally, some fine dining
No.1192220
>>1192219Oh hey, I too have Haribo this evening.
No bussi for me though
No.1192221
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>>1192220What? No bussi for esh?
No.1192223
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I got some bussy last night
No.1192313
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>>1192224keep the gold, those hips got me acting up
No.1192335
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I'm posting this again!
No.1192435
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>>1192333I'm decent at drawing, but I've been way too depressed to get back into it.
No.1192486
>>1192477I mean, I have an art YouTube channel, m'guy. I post art all over the place all the time.
But yes, sure, I'd always love to see.
No.1195994
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>>1195993I guess someone made a post and deleted it again.
Ah well.
No.1195997
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>>1195994>>1195993just somebody saying something not worth reading
keep calm and queer on!
No.1196006
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>>1196005g-g-g-g-GHOSTS?!?!
No.1196040
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>>1195993Might have been me making a gripe that isn't considered PC enough
No.1196053
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>>1196024I thought Fred was into traps?
.. No not those traps! Or maybe he is..
No.1196057
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Moment from a YouTube recommendation for me today... hmmmmmmm...
No.1196058
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I can handle 8 guys
No.1196060
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>>1196058>>1196059Nonny's an overachiever
No.1196068
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any of you hoes need a pimp?
No.1196085
>>1196053He likes traps, but he
appreciates treasures!
