/pony/ - Pony

That's such a fascinating thing that happens.  Like it's remarkably ordinary and common, at least from some viewpoint, but it also conceptually conflicts with most people's experience of existing.  Human bodies, and indeed most animal bodies (though perhaps not actually all animal bodies) have developed a sense of "self", and there's a whole lot of human behavior that relies entirely on that being a real thing that really exists and doesn't have any complications.

But then some people develop more than one self!  And their selves can have arguments!  And there's all sorts of causes for this happening, from trauma, to inducing multiple personalities through mental exercise, to just basic drug use.  Like you're just on estrogen or whatever and oop, that's enough system shock to force a second person in there.

And the reality of all this, I think, is that the "self" was never real to begin with.  As much as the self is required to explain most other animal behavior, it's actually just another emotion that people feel, it's part of the communication between all bajillion cells in the body.  And those cells can collectively decide to communicate differently one day and a whole lot of stuff falls apart.

To some extent I actually think most of us have multiple "selves", but their communications don't always reach the same level as someone who would tell others that they have more than one self.  And I think that goes from high level stuff, like what happens if you split a brain in half, to low level stuff, like how your arm is going to recoil from dangerous objects and tell the rest of your body it did that slightly after.

Welcome to the club, Andrea!

So we kind of figured out we're systemflux or pluralflux

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Systemflux
https://pluralpedia.org/w/Pluralflux

Pluralflux is better known as fluid plurality or fluid multiplicity, and it occurs when the individual(s) in a system fluctuate between multiple, median, and singular based on the interaction between them and their environment.

Systemflux refers to people whose identification as a system or a singlet fluctuates in intensity over time. This can be gradually, rapidly, or any speed in-between depending on the system. Usually it is consistent but sometimes it is not. A systemflux system can be of any system origin.

This kind of describes us perfectly and we're kind of excited we've got a word for it now.

>>1203880

Yeah I'm kinda blessed/cursed with a vivid autobiographical memory, which means a lot of my memories come with memories of feelings of gender dysphoria. In a way, the memories kind of feel more unnerving to me to remember after three years on HRT. It's like they kind of need to split off from me a bit in order to remember them.

>>1203884

I'm actually still not sure how long we've been here. I perceive my headmate(s) as having past identities and containing past self conceptions and attitudes I used to have but no longer do, but Andrew did.

Like I'm kind of coming to recognize them as essentially constructed by me to be my mask(s) over the course of my life so far, and now they're the background chatter in my brain 24/7. But I'm starting to recognize them sometimes penetrating to the front when we're in a state of DPDR and kind of taking control for little moments at a time.

>>1203878
>>1203885
nah, it's all about the heart

>>1203903
no, the mind

>>1203903
>>1203904
I think you mean HeartMind.

>>1203892

Yeah! I think that guy gets me.

>>1203921

A lot of neuroscienist would too