/pony/ - Pony

i've been struggling a bit trying to pin down my feelings a bit, but extraneous situations are putting a real wrench in that vibe

and i appreciate the joke, it's pretty silly

I don't really think about that stuff a lot, but I do struggle with it.

I have my partners still, the long lasting ones, for the most part. Its been two? years since I lost my partner Celeste and a few months since the last partner broke up with me. Those both hit pretty hard. I only dated the latter for a few months and I really love them still, but they just didn't have the feelings they thought they did.

I'm also struggling with feelings towards certain people. I feel like I need to break things off with one while there's a couple other people I have feelings for but don't know how to go about saying something.

Overall things are good, though, just a few speed bumps.

I honestly hadn't thought about it in years until recently.

I've never *actually* dated anyone in any formal sense and don't have a lot of confidence that I'll ever be able to. The only relationship I've ever been in didn't really happen via dating or anything like that.

I don't have confidence in *how* to go on a date with anyone I'm not *already* in a relationship with. And the whole prospect of *actually* goine on a date with someone I don't know seems like navigating a minefield with all my rejection sensitivity dysphoria issues. I've no idea how I'm ever going to find another relationship again.

I believe I do with it like I do with most things troubling me. I try to get some kind intellectual control over it meaning I give advice about it even though I don't know the first thing about dating and romance and when it comes to homosexuality even less so.
I sometimes really wish I was knowledgeable about something but it would seem I am bound to forever shoot from the hip at things that get too close to me. Is there such a thing as good dating advice? Probably not...

I was looking at a dating app recently and it just pisses me off.

Like,people just seem incentivised to be really fake and adverstise prospects and ambition. Like, if you list yourself as an aspiring entrepreneur, you might as well advertise yourself as a fucking aspiring baby eater as far as I'm concerned

>>1202532
>>1202532
Back when I still hadn't really figured out I was aro, I tried a few. And like... maybe I am old fashioned, but I actually read profiles trying to find common interests. I'd be lucky if it said ANTTHING with any substance. 90% of profiles were like "I love my friends and a good time and someone I can talk to' and I was lie "Cool, about WHAT!?"

And when I tried to explain this, people acted like I was the weird one for... wanting to actually have some sense of whether or not I and a potential partner had anythinfg in common.

I called it lying by omission. Completely avoiding any specifics about personality just to cast as wide a berth as possible.

Add the whole "dating apps are very deliberstely stacked against men in order to lure them into emptying their wallet" thing, plus the fact that I had once been harshly rejected when I wasnt even fucking asking in the first place, and I gave up pretty quickly. Really fed the whole "Am I just that revolting or completely stupid about these things?" Complex I developed on top of alæ other confidence getting beaten out of me in school.

Oh, and the remaining 10% were just plan insane people, like gay men knowingly ignoring the "straight" designation in my profile, or that one lady who sent me completelt unprovoked deal threats for stating I didn't want kids. I was 21.

I refuse to run nonfree dating apps, no matter how fake or real the profiles are.

Dating is pâin and then you die.

>>1202549

Saved

>>1202549
that's what every1 tells me

For realsies, though.

I don't know how to accurately set myself on this scale.
I think I am still cis-het at the core. No real dysphoria, no attraction sexually to the same Assigned sex.

I am not necesarilly asexual or aromantic, I think.
I don't think I am volcel like some sort of religious monk.

But, like, I am burnt out on the concept of romance. I ventured in it, it was kinda fun.
Then I got ditched and now I have kids to take care of, I have nothing special to offer and I don't have the energy or time to commit to a romantic or casual relationship.

Conceptually, sex is nice and all. But the social part of a relationship is just so taxing.

Necessary viewing.