/pony/ - Pony

i've been struggling a bit trying to pin down my feelings a bit, but extraneous situations are putting a real wrench in that vibe

and i appreciate the joke, it's pretty silly

I don't really think about that stuff a lot, but I do struggle with it.

I have my partners still, the long lasting ones, for the most part. Its been two? years since I lost my partner Celeste and a few months since the last partner broke up with me. Those both hit pretty hard. I only dated the latter for a few months and I really love them still, but they just didn't have the feelings they thought they did.

I'm also struggling with feelings towards certain people. I feel like I need to break things off with one while there's a couple other people I have feelings for but don't know how to go about saying something.

Overall things are good, though, just a few speed bumps.

I honestly hadn't thought about it in years until recently.

I've never *actually* dated anyone in any formal sense and don't have a lot of confidence that I'll ever be able to. The only relationship I've ever been in didn't really happen via dating or anything like that.

I don't have confidence in *how* to go on a date with anyone I'm not *already* in a relationship with. And the whole prospect of *actually* goine on a date with someone I don't know seems like navigating a minefield with all my rejection sensitivity dysphoria issues. I've no idea how I'm ever going to find another relationship again.