No.1178263
File: 1729919256837.jpg (843.78 KB, 1080x1920, 9:16, korrasami.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
What is something that gets you up in the morning? that thing that keeps your chin up, and pushes you to take that step forward towards your destiny?
i think we all have probably felt a lot of tension from all sorts of places, so I'm curious as to what you are looking forward to, or a goal you are striving for?
also feel free to share some music that makes you feel upbeat or pumped ^_^
No.1178266
File: 1729919548422.png (17.45 KB, 607x597, 607:597, 144109__safe_rule-63_artis….png) ImgOps Google
>What is something that gets you up in the morning?
Usually I need to pee, or I'm choking on my own fluids, or it's the nightmares.
No.1178267
File: 1729919625116.jpg (30.6 KB, 320x320, 1:1, 65755606_351528009108469_3….jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178266lol, i guess i walked into that one :P
i guess you hope you make it to the restroom in time :PP
No.1178269
File: 1729919763757.gif (979.09 KB, 500x252, 125:63, 9074254811caf3f31f9b1bdb96….gif) ImgOps Google
Eh, I actually like my life. My boss lets me pick my hours, he's cool about me calling off with no warning when I need to. I get to teach maths to kids, my wife is chasing her passion of jewelry making, and I am running a delightfully creative and successful DnD campaign.
I guess I'd like to learn higher maths, maybe improve my chess elo or get stronger at Go. I'd like to travel the world.
I haven't got much to complain about. Life gets me up.
No.1178271
>>1178263>MusicThis one's been keeping me going like the energizer bunny lately
https://youtube.com/watch?v=WvTmbUPIvbg&si=-hUYH5ljdn7yswU9(I still hate that I can't embed on mobile)
No.1178274
>>1178269those are all lovely things! i had no idea you tought math to kids! life does sound lovely right now for you <3
>improve my chess>video relatedsounds like you got a lot of good things goin ^_^ keep it up!
>>1178270i can definitely vibe with this one! very WUB WUB!
>>1178271oh this definitely tickles a pop-punk itch in my brain <3
i will accept this with great joy ^_^
No.1178282
The eternal hope that I'll get a good night's sleep one of these nights. It wasn't last night but maybe next time, but now I've got some time to kill before the next attempt so let's go. Rinse and repeat. ...yeah idk, I don't have anything specific long term in view, I'm just taking things one day at a time at this stretch.
Upbeat music uh
How about this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c967usVxYq0 No.1178289
File: 1729962336118.jpg (Spoiler Image, 1.63 MB, 3296x2472, 4:3, 20241026_105740.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
So today and tomorrow, we get to dress up for Halloween at the park! I did my Charlie Morningstar costume again, but I've already worked a lot this morning, and sweat has already messed up my makeup, so here's a picture before it gets all messed up :P
>>1178282That's fair! A good night sleep is a godsend at times! And taking it one day at a time is all you can really do , so do it well!
I'm at work so I'll check the music out later!
>>1178287I love all the stuff you do, so by your criteria, you already succeeded!
But I get that, success is such a wonky thing that is hard to get a hold of at times ><
No.1178290
>>1178289You have no idea what I've been through in trying to get it, heh. In fact my current state is very related to that ambition, but that's a different story.
I was wondering whether to link it because you know how it is. Millions of views = High Chance Of Being Known. But hey, I've been circling down the drain of trying to find new music lately so I appreciate a thread like this and wanted to toss something in. Someone is bound to have not seen/heard this!
No.1178293
File: 1729975316585.png (316.59 KB, 512x768, 2:3, dfg.png) ImgOps Google
I hope for a job I can go to that works for me that I enjoy and doesn't trigger anxiety or depression stuff, I hope to one day live with someone I care about and get out of my parent's house, I hope to finish at least one book and get it published.
I just want to live a good life with people I care about and not have to struggle with money and mental issues.
No.1178299
>>1178289That's very nice. And appreciated, don't get me wrong.
Just seems like I am pretty firmly stuck being a loser for life in most regards.
No.1178302
File: 1729986653220.png (174.68 KB, 345x419, 345:419, oh no.png) ImgOps Google
well i nearly died today, so my current hope is to live to see tomorrow O.O
>>1178293oh harlowe, you and i are on the same page in so many way!
i hope you get that awesome job! i hope you get to live with the ones you love and be independant! I hope you write all sorts of masterpieces of literature that inspire millions <3
>>1178299given that i dressed up as Charlie today, this is apropos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sVoglgJjRg No.1178305
File: 1729986814811.png (88.9 KB, 1154x1080, 577:540, furry bobs.png) ImgOps Google
>>1178303well you just need a camera and the confidence to bear it all!
No.1178307
File: 1729986974282.jpg (225.96 KB, 1024x1536, 2:3, GJ2FDXkbMAAMZl3.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178306oh trust me
you'd find people that would tap into you ;33
No.1178309
File: 1729987700470.jpg (80.07 KB, 729x577, 729:577, F7h7Vi2WwAAvp3N.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178308then my work here is done!
enjoy that new earworm, and let me know if it completely eats your brain!
No.1178311
File: 1729989207747.jpg (45.4 KB, 680x464, 85:58, fairly oddparents.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178310i know that feeling, recently i got a monster mash version of slim shady as well as an epic anime chess move song stuck in my head
No.1178312
File: 1729991833828.png (288.87 KB, 512x768, 2:3, iuiu.png) ImgOps Google
>>1178302thanks!
how did you nearly die?
No.1178314
File: 1729992833506.jpg (119.62 KB, 1280x1280, 1:1, F_X4TOHbYAAbZwD.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178312so i get off of work, and i get onto the highway to start driving home; i get to a stretch of highway that is 4 lanes; 2 in one direction; 2 in the other; and in the middle of it is a median lane to turn into other areas.
i'm currently in the right lane, going a comfortable speed with the person in front of me like a good 100 feet in front of me, so i'm just vibing and driving normal.
the person in front of me starts slowing down a bit for some reason, and i'm thinkin "are you turning or what?" but they don't throw the blinker on, so i can't make out their move.
so i start to do the sensible thing; throw on my blinker to turn into the right lane to pass this person.
I then start to move into the other lane when I notice in a fraction of a second, a fucking car driving the OPPOSITE way in the left lane!
I IMMEDIATELY turn back into the lane, just in time for this fucker to pass me, and i just look back wondering "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"
If i was literally a second off, i would have collided head on with that person at 60 miles per hour, plus whatever the fuck speed they were going!
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL WERE YOU DOING?!?!
YOU HAVE 2 LANES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD TO DRIVE ON!
YOU HAVE A MEDIAN LANE IF YOU FUCKING WANTED TO TURN!
YOU HAVE NO GODDAMNED EXCUSE TO NEARLY FUCKING PANCAKE THE BOTH OF US INTO PASTE ON THE ROAD! YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD!!!
No.1178319
File: 1729993883352.png (335.73 KB, 512x768, 2:3, reter.png) ImgOps Google
>>1178314Oh damn, that's fucking insane. I'm glad you were able to see it in time!
No.1178322
File: 1729994812190.jpg (177.72 KB, 1063x1064, 1063:1064, a197f420ac7ae15807fb2c8f26….jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178319thanks! and damn did my adrenaline kick in after that!
today was already a weird ass day. work was weirdly conflict ridden (fortunately it didn't really affect me personally)
then as i was going to the parking lot, people were freaking out when a truck took out a "white sedan's" bumper off in the parking lot; that freaked me out cause that's what my car is.
fortunately, it was not my car; although i am bummed that it was somebody that i did know, and I really hope she can get it replaced
today was a day of close shaves, with the closest fucking shave at the end of the day!
No.1178323
File: 1729995400047.jpg (64.8 KB, 736x736, 1:1, rebecca deposit.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178306>>1178308I'd probably fuck you, assuming you're over 18. I've already fooled around with quite a few different people on ponyboards alone over the years.
No.1178326
>>1178311>>1178311>Monster Mash version of Slim ShadyI'm sorry wat
>>1178314Well I for one am quite happy you no ded
Lost enough good internet friends bds to last me a while... >>1178323Try doubling that and you're close.
No.1178327
File: 1729999024002.jpg (93.34 KB, 988x733, 988:733, applejack skeleton dance.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178326I don't mind that, Eshy
No.1178328
File: 1729999073242.jpg (58.09 KB, 756x817, 756:817, GETX54NXMAAX0Um.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178326i follow a musician on tiktok who sometimes makes mashups
https://www.tiktok.com/@jimlapbap_music/video/7428770172808203550?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7279609230687831595and i'm glad i no ded too! i didn't have a "life flash before my eyes" moment, but i did have a rush of adrenaline roll over me after i realize what the fuck just happened!
and yeah, i wouldn't wanna leave my freinds and family behind :<
No.1178357
File: 1730018757195.gif (192.32 KB, 220x220, 1:1, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY.gif) ImgOps Google
HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY!
No.1178358
>>1178327We all know the best wine is aged.
>>1178328Oooh, that guy. Neat.
Did you get crazy adrenaline superpowers?
No.1178359
File: 1730028144185.gif (327.91 KB, 498x294, 83:49, Nagatoro hmm.gif) ImgOps Google
>>1178358Very smooth, Esh.
No.1178360
File: 1730040109580.jpg (140.25 KB, 739x1200, 739:1200, GGDLWDpagAAIaE0.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178358well, my reflexes got a boost to get me out of danger
and my ability to swear was doubled for a while after that!
No.1178362
>>1178359I have my moments.
Might as well lean into growing into an internet grandpa.
>>1178360That IS quite the superpower.
No.1178370
File: 1730080024001.jpg (28.8 KB, 476x550, 238:275, Nagatoro reading your post.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
Sobriety is an interesting life. Interesting that is plagued with moments of emptiness. Yet, with something lost comes something gained.
I'm funnier, more insightful, physically and mentally stronger than when I am drinking and abusing my body. Yet there are moments where my loneliness creeps up on me and it manifests through anger, self-loathing, and self-destructive behavior. Normally I would be drowning bottle-deep in a Handle of Vodka right about now, but instead I focused on my screaming muscles, did a few stretches, and had a conversation with myself. I asked what it was I was feeling and why I was starting to feel sad. My eyes started to grow moist, and I could feel the cortisol leaking from my body. Regret; loss; death; and the callous and defensive need to tell everyone around me to fuck off no longer fueled by alcohol. It was quite a lot; to feel vulnerable within my own mind with nobody else around.
And then.. I felt better.
I have hope.
No.1178552
File: 1730480686699.jpg (266.01 KB, 2147x2735, 2147:2735, df94uzz-134ce57a-3218-4544….jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178370That was a remarkably insightful bout of self awareness. Perhaps it's worth exploring more often. I have my own thoughts on what you discovered, but I would prefer to let you sort it out for yourself unless asked.
No.1178554
File: 1730485120866.jpg (83.99 KB, 1126x1126, 1:1, Nagatowel.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178552Nonsense. For the most part, I am an open book when it comes to my own experiences; and wisdom comes from all sources. In other words, you can ask or tell me whatever it is you wish. Speak your piece.
No.1178559
File: 1730489084939.jpg (33.75 KB, 720x720, 1:1, 183decb43b90d78c0930556e92….jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178554>>1178554Very well. What you described sounds remarkably like grief. I suspect you lost someone dear to you some time ago and haven't fully processed the loss.
When that happens, you get stuck wherever you were in the process and the emotion lingers on the background, popping up in unexpected times and places.
Our emotions only process correctly when we allow our minds to settle. And since
No.1178561
File: 1730489591483.jpg (61.1 KB, 640x512, 5:4, Ashley graves self driving.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178559You would be correct. Multiple people; very close people at that. Whether through outright death or some other form of separation, I suppose one might attribute those losses to some kind of abandonment issues that I've developed over the years. Perhaps that is why I am so quick to turn on others or outright leave when I feel my trust has been abused or I have been neglected; to go out on my own terms rather than watch those around me fade away.
It's odd. I am loyal to a fault and can be surprisingly cool with people, even when they mess up. I believe in second chances, but once that line has been crossed, I feel the need to burn the bridge. I have a lot of love in my heart deep down inside. Even if I often pretend that I don't. I can feel it burning with an urge; a desire to be accepted and to accept others; I often go out of my way to help others, especially other outcasts and misfits that get picked on for being different. Yet, I often feel that in my own times of need, other people unable or unwilling to ever be there for me when it counts. It feels like everybody just uses me up when the times are good and leaves me when the times are bad. Everyone always leaves eventually. I guess that's just something we all have to live with. Nobody owes me anything, and I suppose I don't owe them anything; yet it feels so wrong. Am I just an unlovable human being? Do I even deserve happiness? Perhaps so, perhaps not. I believe most people do. Maybe I'd be better off embracing it all and just becoming another jaded cynic. Regardless, it would seem I'm rambling.
No.1178588
File: 1730524459128.jpg (57.27 KB, 736x736, 1:1, 1325afc6b14ae11d2e02b3ee2d….jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178289>another CHAD who wore a costume this yearUnphanomably based
No.1178592
File: 1730525603891.png (463.65 KB, 666x444, 3:2, Fox_with_wide_open_mouth_o….png) ImgOps Google
I know that I likely shouldn't say this... but... my still being alive when a bunch of people in and out of family believe that they'd be better off had I never been born in the first place (or had died as a very small child): that actually gives me a significant amount of energy to keep on, you know?
It's a "Guess who's here and still kicking, fuckfaces!" thing that does, actually, help!
No.1178615
File: 1730601514148.png (Spoiler Image, 319.6 KB, 900x900, 1:1, IMG_0098.png) ImgOps Google
>>1178263What I hope for? Here’s a clue
No.1178616
File: 1730610422680.jpg (36.73 KB, 400x400, 1:1, tumblr_phsp4h36Tv1uvckhv_4….jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178376i hope you find one too! that would be wonderful!
and poor frisk! better luck next time ><
>>1178592outliving your enemies is definitely one big motivator for living! fight the power!
No.1178650
File: 1730661811418.jpg (457.18 KB, 1261x1540, 1261:1540, Screenshot_20201215-165415….jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
I don't really know what to hope for in life anymore.
I never mentioned it here, but just a few months shy of a couple of years ago, inanis and I broke up, and I moved out. Last year I drove for Lyft to get by while looking for a roommate to split rent with, and then I landed by first official employment in over a decade at a Target, and have been able to hold it down for a year now, and I finally found a roommate in a much cheaper place in downtown San Jose near the arts district and SJSU campus, with another trans woman so I don't have to worry about navigating the complexities of being in transition while living with a cis person.
But it's really hard for me to think about the positives and the relief of it all when everything about it feels really precarious and fragile, and given my history of shit luck with trying to achieve independence as a neurodivergent adult given shit like economic downturns and medical issues and traumas all happening at critical times when I was most vulnerable to them, and which are still having an enormous influence on my life right now, it's hard to feel optimistic when part of me, a little voice in my mind, is always making me feel like, once again, everything could breakdown before I am capable of dealing with it. Especially with how things may or may not unfold in the outside world which may or may not unfold in ways that could end all of this for me, or cost me more of the people I still have left.
I've been kind of stuck with my head in the past because of all this. I feel so fearful of losing all that's good in my life right now, and especially feeling homesick for the people I value most in life. Which just makes me yearn for them more than ever now that I have no idea how I could ever be with them again unless I get really lucky really soon. The past few Octobers have been hard to get through given how much Halloween decorations remind me of being back home with my mother when she was in hospice care, and this one in particular has been especially hard given that I kind of can't avoid it at work, and the fact I am detached from everyone I share a significant portion of my history with, people who have known me my whole life and some I've known the entirety or theirs. Grief is already a lonely feeling, but it's especially lonely when no one around you grieves with you.
Sorrow just feels inescapable right now, I don't know what to hope for anymore other than to hope that the worst possible doesn't come to pass.
No.1178651
File: 1730663424225.jpg (48.05 KB, 746x509, 746:509, pepinho.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178650Sorry to hear this. I hope things improve for you.
No.1178653
File: 1730671250007.jpg (64.8 KB, 736x736, 1:1, rebecca deposit.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178650I just woke up, so forgive me if I say something dumb.
Break ups suck. For better or worse, it can always be a pain to go through such a dramatic and drastic change in life. For that I am sorry; and I can relate with a lot of the experiences you're talking about; I know depression, anxiety, and uncertainty quite well. The future can be a terrifying and tumultuous thing; one that often turn into a horrifying silence in the next moment.
I'm sorry that you had to go through hospice. It's never a fun turn of events. I've had to do that about three times in my life and its absolutely heart breaking to watch someone that you love slowly die out and fade from this world right before your very eyes. I've also been on the opposite spectrum and have had to receive the call where someone you love dearly was suddenly and violently killed. One moment they are there and the next they're gone. Not to make this about myself, but I think one of the most traumatic experiences for me was holding someone and feeling the life slip from their body in a near instant. My point is that I can understand. You aren't alone on that, well, not unless you want to be. You can always call me to talk if you need as well. (And if you can endure a few dumb jokes from my end.)
>Grief is already a lonely feeling, but it's especially lonely when no one around you grieves with you. Sorrow just feels inescapable right now, I don't know what to hope for anymore other than to hope that the worst possible doesn't come to pass.I know that feeling quite well as well. I used to go to various online corners where other suicidal and depressed people would hang out and just talk about how shitty life is with them. I didn't want someone to try to tell me it would be okay, and that life would get better, because at the time I didn't want to hear that. In my head the only direction life could really go was down with small moments of highs within the spiral of madness that we called life. I wanted to die. I tried to die. It would have certainly been easier. I would have simply ceased to exist. There would be no sorrow, no pain, no anger, no anxiety or worrying about the world around me crumbling to the ground; but there would also be no happiness, love, or the ability to help those around me that I care deeply about.
I'm not going to sit here and give you the same thing that others tried with me. That life is going to get better and all you need to do is "Chin up!" and "Just stop being sad!" because "It'll get better, you'll see!" Because that isn't the case. Nothing is certain. You can be more or less fine one day and get hit by a truck the next. You could have your entire world shattered and left to rot in a gutter. The world will eat you alive if you let it; because life is a great and vast ocean of possibilities and there are sharks; sharks that are hungry. I suppose the trick is to be opportunistic and keep trying even when all seems lost. Hope can be a powerful thing; and in the right circumstances, hopelessness and embracing sorrow can be a powerfully negative thing that can lead into a more positive mindset. Sadness isn't inherently a terrible thing, but it can consume you. Just as how optimism and happiness can blind you.
>Sorrow just feels inescapable right now, I don't know what to hope for anymore other than to hope that the worst possible doesn't come to pass.It can get worse. It can get better. But it won't always remain stagnant. Life always changes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNAuogsh7Qk No.1178659
File: 1730696048566.jpg (84.98 KB, 736x632, 92:79, GXDWBiyWcAAtUZe.jpg) ImgOps Exif Google
>>1178650when life throws so much at you, it's hard to keep yourself afloat amongst the turmoil, and i don't blame you or anyone in a similar place for feeling that there isn't anything to really hold onto in terms of hope. i could say "it will get better" or "just gotta keep trying" but i imagine they probably would feel like empty platitudes to you in all of this
in the meantime, i will hope for you to have a better life, to get back on your feet, and to find that meaning again; and in the meantime, i hope you keep coming around to say hi to me and your friends here and other places too.
and it is my hope that can help give you even a moment of ease, and something to look forward to in the meantime
