/mask/ - Ponyville Masquerade

Like an intrusive thought kinda of thing? I think that's normal.

Sure I have a side that I doubt people many will like.

>>103
Not that intrusive honestly. Let's just say I have an active imagination. I don't think I ever think about hurting an innocent person, but the guilty ones... it gets messy.

Want to share? We're anonymous after all. So long as it isn't rule breaking stuff.

>>58
Oh, yes.  Sometimes I think I should go to the nature park at night and look for flying squirrel or look at stars.  But by muncipal ordinances, parks close at 10:00 p.m. or more usually at sunset.  Yes, I have had criminal ideation.  I guess that is the evil side.

>>110
That's super wholesome, but I guess evil is relative.

>>106
I wouldn't feel bad about it. I get the whole revenge porn of wanting to severely punish someone who 'deserves it' but in my experience the closer you get to the specifics of the situation, less of a good idea it becomes.

As for me nothing really interesting.

>>112
Oh, they don't make laws against something considered wholesome.  Perhaps I would not do damage, but think of the psychological harm that might come if someone became aware of a lurker...out there...in the woods.  Or the rif-raff that might see my occupying such spaces at night as permission to do the inappropriate.

>>117
I've never really felt bad about it, and honestly I wouldn't consider it revenge porn either. It's not like I'm thinking about rapists and murderers and getting back at them for what they've done. No, just people who shouldn't have crossed me or someone I care about, such as a mugger. In other words, at least in my imagination (which obviously isn't the same as what would happen in reality) I want an excuse to be able to hurt someone really bad. Just to see what it would be like.

Ironically, I've never even thrown a punch, I'm such a non violent person. This is really such an internal fantasy, but it's pretty common for me to imagine it. Like it's something that I'd want to be able to experience if I could, just to see how it would affect me.

You have a side people wouldn't like, but nothing that interesting? Sounds like white collar crime lol.

>>120
You are bad to the bone my friend!

>>121

More, just. I don't have much faith in the maturity of other people. Boring statement alone but if I were to get into an argent I'm sure people would get upset.

Has anyone else thought about driving off the side of a bridge?

>>136
Sometimes yeah

Why not test the limits of sharing a bit. I have not and would not want to even imagine hurting an innocent. But, I went through very dark days at one point in my life where I eventually had to choose kindness and empathy over hate and apathy. And having lived through that, I always wondered if I could have under other circumstances been a remorseless killer. And while there's really no way to test that, it is something that I'm curious about. It plays into my own personal philosophy that anyone can become a murderer, if pushed to the limits in just the right way.

>>125
I would say that this thread should be a safe space to express the normally unexpressable, though I can't do much about how others will react. Also is hard to judge when it will push past the acceptable for content on this site. Share what you will.

>>136
There aren't many bridges where I live, but oncoming traffic, sure. If I were going out I wouldn't get others involved like that, but strictly within the realm of dark thoughts, head on collision works to fulfill that itch.

>>190
>I would say that this thread should be a safe space
I would say that is naive.

>>230
I said should for a reason, don't ignore my words to try to make your world weary point. If you don't want to share, you know where the door is.

>>136
Among other things.

Self-harm is something I struggle with.

I have crippling gender dysphoria. Does that count?

>>235
Considering what comes with that, yeah.
Same here.

All my thoughts are dark.  I constantly think of horrible accidents occuring around me or the death of people nearby.  My nightmares depict me as a murderer, struggling against my victims and covering up the crimes.

I don't think I've ever murdered anyone, though, and I don't think I ever will.

>>234
I've been there, I'm still there in certain ways. I'm sometimes incredibly compulsive towards harmful behaviors. Nothing too dramatic, at least any more. I still kinda wanna cut myself, just to know how it would feel. But I can't worry people over a curiosity at this point.

I hope you have some good support people to help you on the way anon.

>>239
I used to be more like that, I actually don't remember all the details of how I used to be but I did consider that I might have ended up harmful to others how I was. Stay strong anon, I hope you have someone you can trust to talk to with these thoughts. I felt like being able to express my worst thoughts judgment free helped me more than anything.

>>241
I have a good network of support.
I'm doing better. The big issue know is emotional abuse I do to myself because they dont leave scars.

Right now I'm on meds to help

Considering I recently posted something dark and had a chat on another board about weird thoughts out of nowhere (mostly fantasies of acts of aggression, rudeness, or disregard of conventions), I'd say it's nothing uncommon.

Sounds standard. I've had plenty of thoughts about punching people in the face, or valiantly fighting corrupt government agents, or burning down a particularly annoying business.
I wouldn't worry about it.

I think plenty of people think about that at least once.

I wanted to physically assault someone some months ago. Someone made my sister cry and I had a very angry and kinda violent reaction upon finding out. I ended up only injuring my own hand from punching stuff and damaging a chair. I didn't know the person's name so I couldn't actually do anything to them, and if I did I'd like to think I wouldn't have done much more than scream at them for a while. At the same time I was angrier than I've ever been in my entire life, and I lost my self control completely there for a bit, so I don't know for sure what could've happened. Definitely don't want to hurt that person anymore though. Honestly scary, losing my cool like that. My hand is still not back to normal.