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Who does make a better sheriff than some nerdly plumber?


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Probably Wario.


Footnote: Wario here applies the Middle French derivative 'nerdly', which means, "a person of idle brags". E.g. Thomas Moore in Utopia:

"The friar claimed to have licked the cathedral of Antwerp clean, before the arrival of the consulate."

"'What a nerdly fellow,' quoth Hythloday.


I always thought Wario was like some kind of evil copy of Mario or something. The fact that they apparently grew up together is weird.


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Someone with the diodes for justice.


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Him or Lucky Luke, who draws faster?


>who draws faster


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He doesn't even have a gun.
No chance.


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But he is the rootin'est tootin'est cowboy in the wild wild west, and he's never needed a gun before.


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Am I glad he's frozen in there and that we're out here, and that he's the sheriff, and that we're frozen out here.


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I'm just saying, if we put Sonic, Wario, Woody, and Primm Slim in an arena, I know who my money's going to be on.


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Well, you'd probably lose your money. Because the only winner in this match-up can be Wario.

-Woody is just a toy with no real offensive capabilities, he'll probably get disassembled or shot to pieces.
-Primm Slim is not an essential NPC, and is therefore killable.
-Sonic can outspeed bullets and has a lot of experience destroying robots.

This leaves Sonic VS Wario. But here's the thing: Neither Sonic, Primm Slim or Woody can beat Wario. Because modern Wario games have no Game Overs.

The outcome ultimately will be Sonic wailing on Wario while the he can't do anything but fart in Sonic's general direction. But Wario never dies. Sonic however only needs to be hit twice, because you can bet Wario is going to be taking all those golden rings for himself the moment he lays eyes on them. And sooner or later, Sonic will wind down and Wario will be able to get two hits in. Game over.


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Primm Slim doesn't use bullets. He uses lasers. Sonic is not faster than the speed of light.
Or, well, I would assume he isn't. I don't really know Sonic lore that well

You might have a case about Wario, though, I admit.


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Well, the lyrics of Sonic Adventure 2 say "rolling around at the speed of sound", which is 343 m/s. This is pretty much nothing compared to the speed of light, which is 299.792.458 m/s.

However, Primm Slim still needs time to raise its arm and aim its shots. Also, Primm Slim has to hit Sonic twice, and keeping into consideration Sonic's invincibility frames, this means Sonic still has an opening of about one second to destroy Primm Slim.

So I'd say, it depends on the size of the arena.


Sonic Forces, the latest Sonic game, do away with lives entirely now. So Sonic doesn't have "Game Overs" anymore either.

Sonic has fought robots with lasers before. While he cannot out-run light, he moves fast enough to avoid robots range of attack.

I'm not familiar with Primm Slim, but Sonic has fought laser-blasting robots before.

As for lightspeed itself, Sonic has occaisonally moved as fast as lightspeed but only when specific conditions are met.
For example, having the Lightspeed Shoes allow him to briefly dash at lightspeed. Or when he has a cyan wisp it allows him to use the "Cyan Laser" power to practically turn into a living laser.


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Okay, okay. Maybe Sonic & wario can beat Primm Slim in a technical fight, but, none of the candidates have the diodes for justice.

Wario is a criminal, Woody tried to murder somebody, and Sonic doesn't respect the speed limit.
None of them can be trusted to protect the law.
Primm Slim is programmed for justice. It's in his circuits.


Actually, Sonic has a great respect for his own speed limit than people take credit for.

As a Sonic fan I can go on and on about how fast Sonic can go and why he rarely ever uses his full potential in speed. To sum it up he is fully away of the collatoral damage of boosting at literal Sonic-speed which is why he holds back to a degree.
But also because if Sonic does move at sonic-speed then his games wouldn't be as fun if each stage can be finished in under a second.

But if you're on about speeding laws, last time I checked they only apply for vehicles, not pedestrians.


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Well, maybe. But would he take the stolen apple out of a starving child's mouth?
I think not.


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Of course not, Sonic wouldn't do that.


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Aha, you see! Sonic doesn't have the diodes to follow the absolute letter of the law to the most binary of levels.
This is why you never trust a fleshy to do a machine's job!


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He doesn't need diodes to know the right thing to do.

I thought this was a "who would win?" situation? I'd go with te guy who specialises in smashing robots.


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It seems to me to be more about who would make a better sheriff than some nerdy plumber.
If you have to concern yourself with what is "right", or what is "moral", or "fair", or "inhumane", you aren't following me explicit letter of the law properly.


So Sonic wouldn't take a stolen apple out of a starving childs mouth.
Would a robots who's diodes are programmed to be lawful-good satill take that apple because it was stolen?


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It is the absolute leader of the binary law. Primm Slim has a pre-programmed of duty to uphold the exact wording of the law.

That child should consider himself lucky Slim only takes the apple back, instead of lasering him in the back.


Sounds like the D&Ds Lawful-good vs Neutral-good dilemma. But how you put it, Sonic would indeed be the better sherrif because he is capable of mercy and understanding with minor infractions of the law.

If an apple has been stolen, he'll probably compensate for it than take it away from the child but will still encourage the child not to break the law again.


Personally I've always been inclined to define DnD "lawful" as basically being an internal code, rather than flat authority.
But, then, the alignment system is dumb anyway.

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a child who tries to rob again after hearing a mechanical "HALT: YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW SURRENDER NOW OR FORCE WILL BE AUTHORIZED", followed by focus beams heating up.


I've honestly always thought good arguments could be made for Sonic being Lawful, Neutral, or Chaotic. It's pretty crazy honestly.


The alignment system is useful for when you want to establish a basis for a character.

Like, some say Sonic is Chaotic-good, others Neutral-good when really he's a bit of both.


Honestly I've never really understood the lawful/chaotic spectrum much at all, so that's probably why.

Like, according to a couple of Sonic's theme songs, his philosophy is to always follow his own convictions, his internal code, with no compromises or backing down. I honestly have no idea where that falls on the grid.


Me neither. Is Chaotic-good the same as anarchy or is that more chaotic-neutral?

Or it is like Freakazoid who is a hero who does think over-the-top cartoon style.


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I find it thoroughly limiting, to be quite honest. But then my DM is a touch of a stickler for behaving according to your alignment.


I simply regard it more for guidance.


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Personally, I'd describe that as "lawful", but that's because I describe lawful as relating to internal code.
Probably the best way to look at it, though I'd much prefer players be given the option to skip it if they do desire.
Seems to me to be a tool for people new to roleplay, more than anything. For if you can't really see someone else's mindset enough to play as them.


As long as we get to know what kind of person they are thats all that matters. While "good and evil" isn't as black and white, good stories can make it all the more colourful.


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Piglet has a history of severe war crimes.


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That's a good resume for being a sheriff.


Piglet DOES seem the type to be pressured into following unethical orders.


What is Wario's occupation anyway?


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President of a video game making company.

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