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Here's an old scene from a Simpsons episode I saw long ago.

While it's always a virtue to own up to your mistakes and offer people a sincere apology, aren't you ever afraid that it makes you vulnerable and that charges can escalate to beyond what you can take responsibility for?


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Are we talking about criminal charges here and the law being involved? Or just between friends/acquaintances?

That matters a lot to the conversation.


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No, I'm not. I can't imagine I'd ever be around someone like that. And if it turns out someone isn't who I thought they were? Oh well.

There are very few things that apologies don't make better, for me. If my apology and sincere attempts to do right aren't good enough, then I really don't care. I did my part.


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I think in the more general sense.

To be honest, I feel that people don't need to consciously do it. But it's easier to scapegoat someone who takes the blame better.



Maybe. I'd rather be blamed by wrong people than avoid voicing my regrets, though.



Ironic to see this posted right at this moment.


In that case, are you not equally worried about the consequences of not apologizing? Accepting your part, and no more, it's the safest way for yourself if you ask me.


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When I make mistakes, yes I apologize and I find solution fix it.

But when someone blames for something that I didn't do.
Nope I fight to show my innocence and meanwhile I fighting with that person who is blaming me I'm putting in his/her place.

Accepting your mistakes and failures is a way to became more stronger and get experience.

People who doesn't accept  their mistakes and don't apologize even knowing they fucked up. They are only proud motherfucking cowards.


I feel similarly to this, along with showing the person through my actions going forward.

I do have similar fears sometimes about people just kind of taking advantage, but you have to lay boundaries down somewhere.


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Every little part you played in a catastrophy can set the cause of the catastrophy to you.

There is no honest denial of that.

Anyone tries to control their part in stuff.


Maybe I'm just confident enough in my arguing ability that I'm not concerned about being stuck holding onto blame I don't own.

What's the alternative anyway? Just pretend you weren't at fault? Accept fault but not apologize? Both are bad options.


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You could do it the way I do, and simply be at fault for everything regardless of intent or wisdom, and have your apologies always perceived as disengenuous attempts to manipulate.

I don't recommend it, unless you have a penchant for being the bad pony.  It's a thankless, but fulfilling role.


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Eh, it's a virtuous, but a bad idea, especially these days. We live in a time when not only is social redemption impossible, and the criminal justice system is often a sadistic and over-punishing one. It's a society where the most minor of social faux pas can lump you in with the worst of criminals. As a society, nuance, mercy, and redemption are not in our collective lexicon. Better to keep it a secret to be honest, the best approach is to minimize it as much as possible, draw as little attention to yourself as you can, and wait for people to forget and move on.  

I guess this really only applies to large-scale things though. If it's just you and a person you trust, then of course apologize, but if there's even a single person you don't know and trust in there, then evade and minimize.

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