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It's a bad day again, and I hate myself. I need friends.
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>hugs and kajis <3
what's the matter, sweet chamomile?
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my brain has decided that I hate myself. I think.
I made a CD for madison and I'm listening to it and I feel like a total loser. There's no way she could have ever loved me. heck, I'm not sure why I'm praying she ever talks to me again. I don't deserve her anyway.>>605739
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I'd be your friend, but I think I'm pretty far away, so I can only offer internet friendship.
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feelings and emotions will do what they do in any given time. i don't think your brain hates you, it wants to lash out, but that tide will turn.
i don't know who this madison is, but that is very sweet that you made a CD for her.
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that's the problem. I don't feel like I have any.>>605746
Oh, I thought I told you. She was the only girl brave enough to tell me she liked me. We were friends while I was in college. I took her on our first date two christmases ago, then she told me She had to focus on other things, and maybe we'd see each other again someday. It's been almost two years. There's never been another girl like her. She never answers my messages, but I still let her know how I'm doing. I miss her. She was my best friend. I just want to hear her voice again.
What do you think of the list
La Da Dee - Cody Simpson
Write This Down - George Strait
Any Other Way - TAN
God Gave Me You - Blake Shelton
Oh my dear - TAN
Captains and Cruise Ships - Owl City
Die a Happy Man - Thomas rhett
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Don't wake me - Skillet
So Not My Baby - Josh Turner
Love you like the movies - Anthem Lights
Red is the Rose - The High Kings
Restored - Matthew West
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ah, maybe you did. sorry my memory isn't the best.
ah, i'm sorry that you both drifted apart like that. it's always heartbreaking to hear that happen, but it is by no means a measure of your worth. you are a wonderful and lovely person, and that is something wholly your own. we cannot control who like or dislikes us, but as long as we are true to ourselves, then those people that do like us are far luckier than others.>>605754
ah, i don't know any of those songs, except for the Owl City one, which is amazing ^^
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Dating some girl has slammed so many holes in this disaster float that is my life, that I thoroughly regret ever getting into that.
Pining over love is really a waste of time better spent to enjoy stuff for yourself.
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thanks, I guess. maybe I should stop listening to this stupid thing. It's not exactly helping>>605758
I feel like I don't have any worth. Certainly not worth loving. >>605759
objectively, logically. rationally, I agree with you. But my heart says otherwise.
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it has been 2 years, so it maybe wise to let go. holding onto the regrets of the past not only weighs us down, but prevents us grabbing onto the present.>hugs <3
you have such a kind and loving heart, it's time to turn it onto yourself :)
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I can't. It's like Natsu and his fire. I can't eat my own flame. I can't feel the warmth of my own heart.
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like somebody who has been nummed or close to the verge of freezing to death, one may not feel the fire for a while, but make no mistake that it is necessary.
while you may not feel your own flame, it will still start warming your cold, lighting your darkness, and in time you will understand the feeling of its warmth, but only if you trust that it really is there
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I am sorry.
I hope you feel better soon.
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>>605766>hugs and kajis <3
goodnight sweet, i hope you feel better soon. but in the meantime, take care of yourself <3>>605804
i am certain you are trying to help sweet out, but you are starting to sound sexist.
i don't know what your deal is, but it's making me uncomfortable to read what you write
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Sorry to hear that things are rough chamomile. Know that you're a brave person for just putting yourself out there and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the first place, it's more than i can ever seem to manage. Time heals all wounds, i think it will get easier as time goes on, hurt a bit less. If you need a distraction, i've got weeks of them.
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Hey SC, you know it's natural to feel pretty bad about yourself over relationships. I've felt my lowest at such times.
It's perfectly OK to ruminate on the experience and feel the emotions. Listen to the CD until you can't stand it anymore. It's OK.
Go ahead and let her know how you are doing, if you want to and until she tells you to stop. You won't meet anyone quite like her, but you will meet other people and even if you have to wait a long time to meet someone again, use that time to grow and experience the roller coaster that is life. Life hurts. But you're not perfect, and you don't need to be. You're doing fine. Savor the pain and the loneliness, and remember to also savor the parts that felt good too. Hope, and be patient.
If she was your best friend, I hope you can feel comfortable letting her know that in your messages. And that you miss her. And that you wish her well. You never know what might happen, or why she isn't answering you. But when you no longer feel like leaving her messages, then do what you feel. If she won't answer you, there is no need to judge her, or yourself.
Go ahead and let all those feelings wash over you. This is life. There is a lot of life still ahead for you, and it's OK. Just meet it as it comes, and enjoy the ride.
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I've found it burns hotter when it's trying to warm someone else. I found some new identity>>605811>>605817<3>>605823
*hugs* thank you
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Boy, if you knew what my deal was, you'd have an amazingly satisfying chuckle of how great karma can be.
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hey chamo… i will sit with you. and be your friend. i could use your company, too.
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You and SweetTea needing a hug today?
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yes… hugs are good for me!
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Well you look happy!
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if i get hugs, i become happier and a bit stronger!
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Plenty for all
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checking in from a surprise good day where i was called off work
rest feels good
havent had a day off in 3 weeks
how are you moony?
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hi starmane! gosh… that sounds exhausting>hugs
i am doing better with you around. things are okay right now! which is nice!
thats good to hear
I saw the movie this week, have you seen it yet?
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ohhhhh not yet!!! but, i have a link! and we can stream it sometime together!!
yeah, i think you will like it
they did a good job at referencing most things from the show
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aww, sorry I missed you earlier. How are you?>>605952
I look forward to watching it together. My schedule is still open for this weekend, so let me know when you want to stream and I'll try to make time.
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Ill have many hearts!